


Do You Know What I'm Seeing?

by yhdeksan



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: EXO - Freeform, HunHan - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 00:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4939579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yhdeksan/pseuds/yhdeksan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted to run, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry. It’s just another moment, like every month when Sehun feels how his world is ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Know What I'm Seeing?

**Author's Note:**

> Genre: romance  
> Lenght: oneshot

1 / 1

 

* * *

 

 

He wanted to run, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry.

It’s just another moment, like every month when Sehun felt like if his world was almost ending.

 

 

He listened "Lullabies” all day the last week. He can’t help but feel lonely.

 

 

“Sehun, you should go out” said his mom with a face full of worry.

 

 

Sehun didn’t like to see her mom crying even if he’s sad, he thought that he shouldn't show his emotions. He learned that even your closest friends or family can run away from you.

 

 

“Honey, I know you miss him but it’s time to leave him, forget about him just like me” she touched his hair just like he loved.

 

 

“I don’t miss him, I never had a father, I don’t need a father."

 

 

He took the blanket to cover himself and tried to ignore his feelings.

 

 

Every time is worst that before, All the people I thought that loved me started to show their true colors. A world full of lies.

 

 

Since always there was something inside him, a feeling he could not explain. Something important wasn't fine. He knew that he was different, he thought before about it and his friends used to say that he was stupid, quiet, and weird. Time passed and his looks too. People started to think that he was awesome and that had a mind full of beautiful ideas. Since he started high school the people came and say that he’s cute or beautiful.

 

 

“It’s just what I think”

He got tired of listening all the people around him. He only wanted to find a way to feel better and turn off all his feelings and seemed that the answer was to avoid people and never leave his earphones.

 

 

He had friends, sometimes he liked to be with them and sometimes he didn’t like it. The latest days of the first quarter of classes he met a guy called Kris, He’s tall, blond and funny. Sehun was with his friends and then everybody started to talk about t.v shows, Kris mentioned one of his favorites and Sehun felt happy to find someone who doesn’t think that is a really hard topic for teenagers. That’s how everything started. Kris was really nice when they met, they could talk hours about everything and even if Kris was older there was respect in the way he talked to the guy, Sehun liked that.

But like every beautiful story there’s always a moment when everything seems to go down. This friendship wasn’t the exception.

 

 

Like I said before, Kris was a nice friend when everything started but after the first winter break everything changed.

Kris came back with an air of “I’m better than you” and that wasn’t nice since he used to talk with him about interesting things like some documental about dolphins or some ingredients inside the brownies that their classmate had today, a pretty combination with weed.

 

 

Those times were nice, beautiful. When Kris started to criticize Sehun more than the normal he also started to feel that was time to say goodbye to that good friend. Sehun was tired of hypocrite people, stupid people. He wasn’t friend of stupid people. Kris started to say things everyday, every moment that he had with Sehun. All were stupid things, the kind of things that the other guys from his school also said.

 

 

At the end of the quarter Sehun decided to ignore him, he started to feel that to answer his messages was a bad ideal. Normally Kris would say stupid things and when he realized that he was being a problem he would start to say cute things like “I’m happy to be your friend” or “My kids will love you, you’ll be their favorite uncle”. He had to admit that when the older said those things he felt good.

 

 

Before to go he decided to take his distance with Kris. He used to see Kris with two or three friends and that was all. Kris wasn’t a person of tons of friends or people who wanted to be with him. But Sehun wasn't like Kris, he was really loved. People knew his name, people cared about him, people talked with him and asked him for help or to hang out. Sehun accepted all that attention but he had his own list of people that we knew really well and counted as friends.

 

 

 

Just a week, just one and he will be flying to his dreamland to study and live just like he wants. He never cared about the people he’s leaving, of course he loves his friends and family but he can stay there forever. He remember pretty good all the times that he spent alone with his mind, thinking about incredible moments of his life, with people that he thought they loved him.

The Little Sehun was a pretty boy, all the ladies friends of his mother or grandma filled him with affection, even strangers stopped to touch Sehun’s sweet face or soft hair. He was a leader, a bunch of kids always were with him waiting for his Word.

 

 

Sehun was a boy that a lot of people hated too…

 

 

Sehun had all that people for him but in reality, he was really alone. His mother and father were always in their lovely world and decided to put Sehun inside her grandma’s house. He was treated like a prince, the maids always gave him all. His grandma bought all that he wanted even if he just said that a thing was cute, he usually never asked for nothing, he just had to open his hand and take it.

 

 

When his grandma’s family had parties they would always be waiting for Sehun with open arms.

 

 

He felt the weird feeling of jealousy of his cousins. He was “lucky” to have all that attention.

 

 

At the age of nine while he was turning ten, the “lucky” guy with the beautiful couple of parents that he had… stopped.

 

 

The divorce wasn’t hard for him, after all… he never lived with them. Obviously was hard, he thought his parents were the perfect couple, even after eleven years of being married they were all lovely dovey like teenagers in love. His father was in constant change but never changed that actions for her mother, until that day. He knows that he will never know how is his father for real. He will never know.

 

 

“Sehun I’m not going to live here anymore, You want me to go to grandma’s house or to a new house?”

 

 

“Grandma’s”

 

 

“Sorry Sehun”

 

 

The Little guy saw his father walking towards the car with a bag full of clothes and other things that the driver took. Sehun was shocked. His father left him in front of the door and he stayed there for about an hour. He understands the situation and heard his mother crying, then saw a big blue mark on her arm. Sehun ran to his room and started to read.

 

 

Sehun always loved books, the best part of living inside his grandma’s house was the big library that was always full of the best stories that he had ever read. He learned to read with his grandmother, his grandfather was a famous writer, you can imagine how important was for his family to him to learn about that world. For their luck, Sehun had the interest before they started to worry about the subject. He learned to read pretty good at the age of four years old. His family was proud of the boy and Sehun was happy to know what was the meaning of the things that the books have inside.

 

 

Sehun has his own world, after a few sessions with his psychologist, he called it a bubble because it was his form to feel protected.

 

 

A lot of things changed and those things will always change.

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun had to wake up at six am every monday, wednesday and friday and for tuesday and thursday at five am. Sehun ate three times a day and he can’t live without a coffee, that coffee could be hot or cold. Sehun usually writes everyday a Little in a blue naive notebook. He has around 980 songs in his phone and he swears that he needs more. He studied music for nine years and leave the institute because he wanted to learn by himself, the first instrument he played was the piano and thanks to that his family saw all the beauty the boy has. With just four years old the Little Sehun took the piano with his Little fingers, trying to replay the song that he heard that day. His nana and grandmother heard him playing and happy to know that finally see the little boy doing more of his notable talents, that boy is a pocket full of charmings.

Incredible, right? This guy also played soccer and was part of the swimming team. Sounds incredible, but this boy is recognized for a lot of things.

 

 

Sehun after school has singing practice with a tutor, dance practice, music practice and also workout time. He has time to read, write and have fun taking pictures. Watching movies and videos is another passion.

 

 

 

After the divorce Sehun left soccer and swimming, he left violin and started to have more lazy moments.

 

 

It’s normal, sometimes a person can’t keep it all.

 

 

 

Right now, Sehun is getting ready for his prom. Finally, after all this time he’ll leave his country, his family, his house and friends. His dream, that’s the reason.

 

 

Is not the first time he leaves the country but this time he said forever.

 

 

After all this time he’ll be in South Korea, he wants to study Art Direction and be successful, he wants to show the world that we can be in peace just with being secure about ourselves.

 

 

It’s funny how after all the time, years and memories maybe fake memories can with us as a person. All those feelings giving us a nice headache, how hard can our heart hurts.

 

 

I say fake memories because those memories can be your imagination, sometimes I forget the real moment.

 

 

Finally, the morning Sehun was dying to start. He will be leaving around 10am and needs to take his light body to the room of his mother. It’s time to say goodbye.

 

 

The woman is already cooking breakfast for his son. The last meal. It’s special how she’s the one doing it and not a maid.

 

 

“Baby, What am I supposed to do without you?” says his mother trying to contain her tears.

 

 

“We talked about this I was a child, you knew that this day was near and I can’t stay here forever, you know that If I want to win the best way is going to where my destiny is already waiting for me”

 

 

“I know son, but I wish I could go with you, you are so fragile”

 

 

“Mother, I’m ready to go”

 

 

“I know, I know… come here”

 

 

The lovely mother hugs his son, slowly caressing his face and ending with playing with that beautiful hair.

 

 

“Please, talk to me, send me messages, videos, voice notes, call me” She smiles while saying this, she already knows that his son will have a lot of things to do there.

 

 

“Will be a pleasure to show you how wonderful my new life will be mother” Sehun kisses his mother's cheek and finish with his breakfast. The time is now.

 

 

Earphones… checked

Phone charger… checked

A nice book… checked

Camera… checked

Money… checked

 

 

Those were important and he checked his files and permissions last night. He was ready to go.

 

 

The way with the driver of the family was calm, the old man said goodbye to him. The maids wished him good luck and tons of “eat well” “stay healthy”.

 

 

His mother weaved his hand while watching her big boy go alone.

 

 

 

I’ve always liked to go to the airports, they are bright and full of people that you don’t know with a lot of stories and reactions waiting to happen. Big Windows around us, just like our eyes, full of true feelings, we can’t deny it.

 

 

Let’s wait for the final, let’s wait for the best.

Is it right to want the best?... First, What is the right?

 

 

The airport always gave Sehun a lot of things to think.

 

I deserve it

 

 

And yes, he deserved it.

 

 

He’s walking around the airport, the people around was full of smiles because they were finally seeing their lovers or full of tears because that one that they love left. Faces, hugs and kisses.

 

 

He decided that was time to drink a coffee again, a few minutes before he saw a place and he’s totally decided to buy it. He was little distracted someone passed in front of him and he always fell.

 

 

“Sorry”

 

 

A boy with a nice smile excused himself.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was a big step for him. What am I supposed to do now? He must have thought before. All the things he had to think about before going and starting a new kind of life, alone and without his family and people around him looking for him to have a perfect life. All that attention and gifts, he was glad but it was time to say goodbye and seemed to be the right time so… Why not?

 

 

Years before the big day he found himself immersed with the terrible world around him.

 

 

What’s going on? I’m getting old and I want to be young when my first book reach the people, I want to be young when the video I directed is the hit. All the dreams I have right now have this Young versión of myself.

 

 

 

Almost crying, endless weekends alone watching his phone and looking to the white wall.

 

 

“You can’t be depressed again, I’m sick of seeing you acting like If you were the one who isn’t anymore with his husband, stop being stupid and dramatic” his mother, she’s a sweetheart, isn’t she?, most of the time seems like the most sweet person alive and then BOOM, she starts to throw things around the place and scream to him like there is no tomorrow. She always said the same speech and even Sehun knowing that he isn’t stupid or a bad person like she said, the words that only can hurt him were the ones who came from his mother’s mouth.

 

 

Fuck the world, fuck the people, fuck this shit.

 

 

 

 

His aunt Rose always told him to understand his mother.

 

 

His father always told him to understand his mother and to love her. Sometimes he also said that she isn’t easy, and that he would understand all later.

 

 

And that stranger told him that she must be crazy and needs to go to the doctor but that he should respect and to not say anything to his mother.

 

 

I need to say that sometimes I think that I look like my father, talk like my father and also think some things like him that make me think I’m sick too.

 

 

“That situation can’t be inherited”

 

 

Then I just control my mind to believe that can be real the fact of to inherit another thing from his father after his money and a lot things more.

 

 

I need to decide fast, I need to act just right now.

Sehun decided that it’s time for a coffee and then this stranger almost fell in front of him and because of him thinking about his life.

 

 

“Sorry” said the boy with a nice smile and walks towards the store.

 

 

Sehun wasn’t angry, it was just an accident that stopped him to think about more sad things and that accident seemed to have a nice smile and light brown hair, also in a hurry to buy a coffee.

 

 

Sehun stared at the boy buying a coffee and keeping his headphones, while waiting he seemed to be singing a song.

Wait. I know that song too…

 

 

For Sehun music was really really really and I say again, really important. Normally, people checked his phone and went to his playlist and after all they said “I only know Coldplay”

And we talk about around 358 artist. “Who is posible that you know all these groups I’ve never heard about?” he always got more questions like those.

 

 

Music for Sehun it was something necessary that must be part of everyday and moment. It was already, more than that.

 

 

Music was the most perfect thing.

 

 

He's singing one of my favorites, he must be nice.

 

 

What a way to select who is a nice person, right? That's the way he worked. Not always but that feeling of someone singing what you love and you know that isn't something that you can hear everyday... Fantastic.

 

 

Sehun listened to the boy besides him, he couldn’t hide that little smile and paused his music.

 

 

He looked carefully what was the boy doing. The boy wore ripped jeans and grey hoodie styled with some black and blue strips, a pair of black boots, right hand with sunglasses and left with a nice watch and a book, seems like he's reading the little prince.

 

 

He was so busy watching the boy and then the girl in front of him said his name.

 

 

"Sorry?" asked confused.

 

 

"Your coffee sir" said with a smile and gave him the coffee.

 

 

"Oh yeah, sorry and thank you"

 

 

Question of seconds. The boy disappeared.

 

 

Sehun walked around until he found his gate. He killed the time reading a magazine from the store near his gate. He bought more things like bubble gum and suddenly felt that someone was watching him from behind.

 

 

Girls… and they say we are the ones who take a full look of their butts.

 

 

"Sorry, am I disturbing you?" Sehun turned around and found the boy he saw before. He looked at him surprised and the other boy smiled and opened his mouth to talk.

 

 

"I want to take that magazine behind you" said the boy with a cute accent.

 

 

"Oh" Sehun smiled shyly to the boy while leaving the place free and left the store.

 

 

What a beautiful smile

 

 

It was time to enter the plane, the lady took his ticket and he was ready, he was leaving and he couldn’t wait to arrive at his new home.

 

 

"Goodbye mom"

 

 

He couldn’t define what he was feeling with just one world, he felt like crying but also like screaming, he felt that all the air was leaving, his body felt light and he knew, it was really time to start something new.

 

 

He went to sit early, the place besides him was alone. Maybe he would be alone the whole time but... Destiny, the facts and the future. What's the universe doing right now?

 

 

The boy with the lovely smile sat right there.

 

 

"Hey" said when he found Sehun sitting watching his actions.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Since Sehun was little he always loved to talk to the people he found interesting.

 

 

“This man is radiant”

 

 

“That woman’s voice is incredible”

 

 

The problem was when people around wasn’t interesting but for that moment the boy besides him seemed to be the exception. Someone with good taste of music, nice hair, nice clothes, and nice voice, of course. That’s all that he knew about the stranger but he wanted to know more.

 

 

The seat was comfortable, the color of the light was enveloping and Sehun knew he could be sleeping, after all, he couldn't sleep the night before like it was the night before the first day of school.

 

 

First class, the screen in front of him but he didn’t want to watch anything. The guy besides him seemed to be looking for something inside his jacket and when he finally found it, it was just the red box of bubble gum and, it was empty. Sehun took his box out and thought about giving it to him.

 

 

“Hey, you can have mine if you want, I always bought before going out to somewhere” Sehun stared at the boy with a small smile.

 

 

The boy first looked at Sehun and then at the bubble gum. Then gave a smile.

 

“Thank you, I forgot to buy it” said taking the gum and Sehun decided to look at the floor.

 

After half an hour the blond boy starts to get bored of his magazine and looked at his partner. The other male seemed to be too occupied reading a book and using his headphones but he listened besides him the music the other was hearing.

 

 

“Excuse me, How can you read and listening music like that at the same time?” said the blond trying to start the conversation.

 

 

“I really don’t know but if I want to feel good while Reading I need my music” said Sehun surprised that he other guy was the one speaking to him first.

 

 

“I like that song, by the way” said Luhan giggling “When I went to a reggae concert in Argentina they played that song and the audience went crazy.”

 

 

“So, You listen to latin reggae? I wasn’t wrong about you.” said Sehun while moving himself to talk face to face with the blond.

 

 

“Tell me you didn’t listened to me before because I’m a shame while singing in spanish”

 

 

“I listened you singing in english, Death cab for cutie”

 

 

“I woke up feeling like the need to listen that song and make it my soundtrack for my come back home”

 

 

The blond couldn’t hide his smile. Isn’t an everyday thing to find someone to talk about his music type.

 

 

“That song reminds me a lot of things but is always like an eraser from all the bad things around me” says immediately the other.

 

 

“Death cab for cutie have this magic, the music they make is like a gift, I really love the feeling and walking around the city while listening Grapevine Fires always makes me feel like being part of a movie, having an interesting story full of moments that left you without a breathe” Luhan stared to the beige wall of the plane and Sehun listened while watching his expressions.

 

 

“I understand you, music can with us. Without music I feel that there’s something missing, that a part of me isn’t complete like when I don’t drink coffee or when I’m alone because I want it, the walls can be White or the place full of people, I can watch them, I feel complete. People sometimes doesn’t understand it, I’ve this thing inside me that hurts me when I think more about all the things around me and the future, my present, what to do, the list of things that I have to do, eyes full of tears but there’s music, and I’ll be fine” says Sehun feeling that he’s being too intense. He’s just a stranger but he’s having one of those conversations that you will never know when will happen again. Not everybody knows what you know and Sehun sometimes forgets it.

 

 

“Sehun” says the blond and Sehun smiles when he heard his name from those pink lips.

 

 

“You know my name”

 

 

“Your coffee said it”

 

 

“Oh”

 

 

“Sehun, your feelings towards music gave me an idea”

 

 

The blond boy stared at Sehun and after a few seconds smiled to him again. Sehun was confused but he wanted this, didn’t he?

 

 

The boy was a photographer and he was having his fall break. All his words were heard by Sehun. Is not the first time he met a photographer and if there's something he loved about it, is how you can see when people really love what they are doing, when they know what they are talking about and isn't bulshit from a magazine or quoting some writer. They feel it.

The boy talked about his last work for an architecture company and more things like that, he had a boring life but he loved it, and Sehun thought the boy in front of him is younger than him yet he was wasting his time. Some people think about it two times before going for what they want.

 

 

"I live in an apartment and we have a house there but my family is always traveling, I left the house but i still with the family reunions and parties and those things of a family. You have family there too?"

 

 

Family reunions.

"I'm moving, I want to study art direction here and start to work... I want a different view"

"Then, welcome home!" said the blond giving his best smile and waving his hands like a jazz dancer.

 

 

Sehun checked the time and they were almost reaching his new home. First day, he already met someone and it's a new beginning.

"We will meet soon, promise me" said the stranger with cute eyes saying goodbye to Sehun.

 

 

Sehun weaved for the last time his hand looking the other boy walk towards a man carrying his luggage.

 

 

"Wait" screamed Sehun.

Luhan being too far from him looked besides him and saw a girl drawing something on a paper. Luhan asked her if he could write something fast for his friend and she immediately said yes.

The boy looked at Sehun and then the paper.

"I'm Luhan"

 

 

After he saw the other boy smiling Luhan waved his hand one more time and left.

* * *

 

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